The cry from malfunctioned families has touched the throne of our father, the designer of marriage. He established the marriage institution many years ago and left our great grand parents Adam and Eve in the garden. He blessed them to succeed and had an expectation and plan for their successful togetherness. Look at the strength of the vocabulary that he used to bless them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

 

This kind of blessing is what demonstrates that God’s plan for humanity was that they may enjoy life on earth as opposed to the hard till that followed. This plan was that of brightness and progression. The scriptures show very clearly that God blessed them both, the male and the female. It is unfortunate that today we have divided the family along gender lines where one is deemed more blessed than the other. One is viewed as vulnerable or endangered and therefore over protected. This is not what God intended life in marriage to be. He intended love to be the envelope that holds the two together.

 

A relationship that will emulate God’s initial plan will be characterised by mutual respect between a husband and wife.  In this relationship each spouse will look at the other as a valued member of the family unit and each one will be fully involved for the welfare of the said unit.

The much we can tell why man was created is that God decided to do it. Though through careful look we find that God wanted to make him a co-worker and he gave him the responsibility to manage his other creations. He created him in his own image after he had created the animals. It is therefore certain that animals are not in the nature of God though they are his creation. He then gave him responsibility to manage the garden. This demonstrates that leadership qualities are innate in a man. They are a design symbol for a man. Someone might ask, and how comes that some men are not leaders? Learning from Adam, man ought to have leadership qualities in order to control ‘other things’ and also to head his family. There is no family headed out of ignorance that will enjoy excellence. Unfortunately some men fail to nurture these qualities, and no wonder the mess in the families today.

 

Another one might ask; do women have leadership qualities? Well by design women are the latest model of creation. They were created with immense ability and wisdom because of their purpose. They too were given a task, to rescue man because he was lonely in the garden.Every woman should understand that her first role (after God) is to her husband, to make him happy. Feminists might debate on this but unfortunately this is an order that cannot be changed.  Woman was created for the man and not vice versa!

 

This means that man has a responsibility to share with his wife the area he needs her to give a hand. It is bad how some men struggle with issues to the point of death while accompanied by a wife in the house and they cannot let her give a hand. Is it not evil for a ‘stuck man’ to refuse to be rescued even when “AA from above” has been delivered to his own house? A woman has the potential to make a man better irrespective of how chaotic a man might have been. But the man has to be willing, he has to let go, he has to drop his pride and let his ego deflate a little. Different cultures have taught bad stuff, they have given men very high profiles and as a result women have lost their will power.

 

 

It is lack of sight for a man to assume that he knows everything. This behaviour tends to block the input of his wife, a thing that can introduce frustration in the family. Assuming that a wife is only relevant for bodily edification and ignoring her brain power is a great failure for a man.The scripture puts it clear that two are better than one, for they produce a better return for their labour. It is far better when your have a forward thinking wife as opposed to a ‘yes woman’ who cannot put her brain on anything. I reiterate again that the role that a woman plays in any successful marriage cannot be ignored by any man who wants to enjoy the success of marriage.  

It is also important for a woman who is forward thinking to know her limits so that out of her vigour she does not disrespect her husband. Men have a strong egoand if there is any form of threat on their position they may raise their necks high like a cock. It is good for a woman to know the characteristic of her husband so that she does not always overstep. This does not mean that a woman should be overstepped. She likewise has feelings which are wounded if given negative responses. 

 

In conclusion if both spouses would respect each other, each pray for the other and both frequently pray together, each provide positive contribution to their relationship, and together gather skills to strengthen their relationship and protect against the torrents of life then the warmth generated would be sufficient to sustain them till death. And that is the will of God the father.

 

 

 

More of this rich information can be gotten from the author’s book, “Seven pillars of a successful marriage” To order a copy go to www.familyrebuild.org or write an email to: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it